Momma~ Introductory Warning

I was sitting in the rocking chair on my front pourch thinking of ways to present a book for you & I kept getting bothered by fairies & lepreacans.They just kept flying about in grat swams & dive bombing me. I said "SHOO! SHOO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" But they thought it was great fun to annoy this aging mother & kept laughing & leaping around my chair without little respect for my aged wisdom. Now,I was sitting with this book,open in my lap & this one fairy landed on the open page. Now, normally I'm a very tolerant person, but this particular fairy was very,very rude! When he bared his bottom at me,THAT was the last straw! In an uncharacteristic act, I slapped this book shut & trapped that annoying flying fairy inside. It kept squeeling & shouting at me the most obscence way. I just slammed this book shut & held it tight & squished that little sucker flat! There, that shut it up but there was still a little problem. It's legs were sticking out of the pages. You know me, I like things neat & tidy. I solved that little problem,as I solve all problems...I trimmed them off even with the book. ( I know you are asking how? Well, it was just like I trim my pie crusts.) So please dear children, be careful when you open each page. I know that I got that bugger,but you never know with fairy people they could still be alive! I am absolutely certain it would be subdued thought. After the lesson I gave it,that fairy would not dare to be quite so rude again to anyone again. after all,it is legless. Let that be a lesson to all who ever try to annoy me...Never,never be rude to momma..you never know what could set her off!!