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Video Reviews on Intimacy

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1 Marriage & Family Video Review Video title: Intimacy: No One Night Stand Doing your homework All of us received messages about sexuality as we grew up. These messages came from such diverse sources as family, friends, school, church, media. Some of these messages were healthy, some were not. Looking back at what we learned can help us sift out what we found was lifegiving and what was not. Some of these values were spoken and passed on directly. Some were unspoken and passed on indirectly. It can be interesting to hear how people learned about sexuality. Statistics indicate that only one fourth of people first learn about sex from their families. How did you first learn about sexuality? I first learned about sexuality when I was a little girl. Barbie dolls are what I used to play with until I started to be a tomboy. Now I collect them when there is a worthy one to collect. I suggested Barbies since they always have a big bust, and a slim figure. Was it basically one source or a variety? My sources came from all over the place. Did your family talk about sexuality? Never ----- Sometimes----- Often Did your family pass on any values about sexuality? My family passed on a few values, but most of my values can from working my body to the bone. What were those values? I cant remember what the values were exactly. All I can do is the work, and the values would show. What values were positive(healthy), Which were negative? Most of my values were negative. For example, Im a little abusive because of my parents fighting in front of me all of the time. However, some of the values were healthy. Were there any unspoken values about sexuality in your family? Ie. Dont get pregnant, Dont talk to me about sex. There were not any unspoken values or rules. My family had an open-relationship policy. That changed after a while. When you examine the relationship your parents or other significant adults in your life had: What would you want to keep? I would want to keep the open relationship. That is my main value right now, but I cant think of any other relationship keys. What would you want to change? I want to change the fighting. Brian and I dont fight that often. We may disagree, but we dont fight. It doesnt help with the stress that either one of us are under like the people that we are helping out because of her bad attitude. Video Review sheet continued: Intimacy No One Night Stand Another point brought out in this video was that people will get attention (develop ways of touching in positive and or negative ways). Identify Negative ways you observe people getting attention or touch in families, with friends, in relationships. A couple ways of getting a negative touch would be no touching or hugging and beating. What are the consequences of negative touch? The consequences would be that it would be passed on to the next generation; kids will feel like they punished, and as kids grow up it could get worse. Identify Positive ways you observe people getting attention or touch in families, with friends, in relationships. Some positive ways is to do what you do naturally like hugging especially if your culture demands it, hug, and talk openly. 2 What are the benefits of positive touch? The benefits of positive touch would be that the child would know how to touch someone especially a date, culture could be enriched even if the person moves to a different place, and talking openly will help a single person know how to express themselves to others. All families touch in some way. Many touch physically. Many touch indirectly, such as verbal affirmations or put downs. Food or work or doing something for someone such as buying a gift can also be non-physical ways to touch. Keeping all of this in mind, how would you rate your own family in the area of touch: No touch------------Some touch------------Moderate touch-------------High touch My family is where the arrow is placed because my family and I were very close when I was growing up. Like I said before, our touch changed over the years from being more positive to more negative as the death toll ran up in my family. How did / does your family touch examples: One negative way that my family has touched me was the fighting. To this day, I dont like to fight, but if I have too I will. One positive way that my family has touched me was how they showed me the ways of the world. I have been in the adult world ever since I can remember. Video Evaluation: (Interesting ------ Not) (Informative ------ Not) (Show again---Not) Personal commentary: I picked all three for a very positive image, because its very informative on how your family can rear you for the future as you carry on the family. I also thought that the short film was interesting by finding the ways how your family has taught you for when you start living on your own. I also wanted you to show this video again since it would help other people realize what their family has done for them. Marriage & Family` Video Review Sheet Video Title: Intimacy: No One Night Stand Patterns of Intimacy What is Intimacy? Intimacy is where a person will give respect and dignity to another human being. There is closeness with a familiar person or friendship in a private cozy atmosphere. Intimacy is not used to fill the gaps, but some people will use this passion to make themselves feel better. How is sex used as a substitute for intimacy? Sex is a celebration of the intimate or committed couples. They have creative energy. Sex is used as a substitute for intimacy by not even knowing that they are doing it. People want intimacy, but going through sex just to get it just isnt enough. The need of feeling affectionate is for finding the right person. If this system is abused, life isnt going to be that great of a party. How can sex be a real block to intimacy at times? Sex can be a road block to intimacy because no one has died from sex where intimacy key. One block of intimacy is rape or abuse. Sex becomes the focus of the relationship because it is easier, cheaper, fills in the time, and eventually becomes a rut. How can sex be easier than intimacy? Sex is easier than intimacy because of the emphasis put on the intimacy that could be put into a rut. Video Evaluation: (Interesting ------ Not) (Informative ------ Not) (Show again---Not) Personal commentary: I find that this whole section is helping me learn what my parents taught me about sex and intimacy. I know that I have learned some ideals on my own, but 3 most of my ethics did come from my family. And I am carrying on their legacy through me, and my future family. Marriage & Family Video Review Video Title: Intimacy: No One Night Stand Going All the Way Going all the way may have brought to mind a different thought than what the presenter in this video used this phrase to mean. What does going all the way means; given the context of this video? Going all the way means that you are willing to get hurt to get the benefits of having another person around. A person has to struggle to get close to another individual. How can dating someone who is much younger and less mature emotionally be a way of avoiding intimacy? Its a way of avoiding intimacy by thinking that you are on a different level than that person. A person who acts like this could have either something to prove; or have something to hide. Another explanation could be that it just makes them feel good that theyre somewhat putting someone else down even if they are down themselves. Do people sometimes play it safe in relationships and avoid people who can be equals? Why? What are the consequences of this? Some individuals do play it safe to avoid other people especially if they had something bad happen to them like rape or incest. Some of the consequences could be that you are eventually putting yourself down, putting others down, or not just having anything to do with the current relationship that you may be in. Everything starts out small, and then that little ball grows bigger and bigger until something has to be done. What is difficult about being intimate with yourself? Its difficult to put love towards ourselves since we have to start with ourselves to be able to be with other people. We put ourselves down more often than we put others down because we dont like how we look or act both outside and inside doors. What could you say to others who are struggling to be intimate with themselves? I would have to say that the first lesson that you have to learn is to look at yourself in a mirror to tell yourself that you are beautiful. A person with this attitude would have to look directly into their eyes otherwise they wont believe themselves. Then once they have done that task, they should find a full length mirror in their house while they are naked to tell themselves again that they are pretty. Working on this task while naked would help your esteem since we find more people that think their bodies are so dumpy that no one would want to be with them. In the video, statistics were stated that suggested 23 47% of first sexual experiences are alcohol or drug related. Does your own experience of life bear this out? My first experience of having sex was not with drugs or alcohol. My first experience was slow and painful. My fiancT started slow so that way I could get used to having sex because when a person starts out having sex, especially females, it would hurt a lot. What patterns do you have perhaps that you may not want or patterns you wish to get rid of? I never realized what patterns I have. My pattern that I dont want is the fighting and the abusiveness. I learned how to be abusive from my father. I have been trying to get rid of it, but this pattern is hard to get rid of. It takes at least two years to get rid of a pattern. Video Evaluation: (Interesting ------ Not) (Informative ------ Not) (Show again---Not) 4 Personal commentary: I want you to keep playing these videos since they probably would help someone realize what they need to change about themselves, or at least try. Getting rid of something is always harder than keeping an item or ideal.

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Writing assignment while listening to videos for Marriage and Family




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Votes: 6
Views: 1,392
Date: 11/20/12
Other: Writing